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Enabling your boomerang kids

August 15th, 2012 at 08:34 pm

Just in case you didn’t know what boomerang kids are, they are just like they sound. It is when a parent raises their kids to be productive adults but for one reason or another they come back to live at home. I have a story about this but I will not use any names to protect the guilty.

The mother who thought she had already raised her kids to be able to take care of themselves has one child who can not control their overspending and giving their kids whatever they want. The overspending has caused the child to go deeply into debt and lose their house. Now instead of letting her child learn a lesson the hard way, she decides to take her in when she knows she does not have enough room. The mother says “I just want to be able to help my child out for a while so she can save up some money to move out” But instead of helping she is actually enabling her and allowing her to live completely rent free for almost 2 years. During this time the child has not even saved up any money and has still not bothered to move out.

This is a true story of someone I know quite well. This saddens me and also really pisses me off. Enabling somebody does not help them one bit. You are hurting them by not letting them deal with their own problems. When you do everything for someone they never learn how to take care of themselves.

4 Responses to “Enabling your boomerang kids”

  1. laura Says:

    In all fairnss, do you know for a fact that the adult child in question isn't using their money to pay off significant debt? One can really only speculate about things, unless of course you're their CFP or accountant. As a parent, I certainly wouldn't let any of my children become homeless. Or my inlaws or brother or best friend for matter of fact. Sometimes children that graduate college simply can't find jobs to support themselves, or they have student loans that they want to pay off.

  2. ltj2010 Says:

    I do know for a fact because this person is a family member.

  3. patientsaver Says:

    It would be easy enough in this situation to allow the child to live at home but REQUIRE them to deposit x dollars in a savings account each month. It would be a prerequisite to living at home. Of course, the child could be a poor saver because the parent didn't instill those values in her either.

  4. inspirefreedom Says:

    I totally love your blogs and will stay tuned

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